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Week 2 was full of controversy, with Ed Hochuli's error in judgment not only costing me a 10-win week against the spread but also banishing me to a sub-.500 record for my straight-up picks. Oh, if only Tarvaris Jackson had been able to convert one of those drives into a touchdown, maybe I'd have scored my upset special. Then again, maybe Gus Frerotte wouldn't be starting in Week 3. Still, the NFL powers-that-be have left me a bit confused. After all, if blowing the whistle too soon on Jay Cutler's fumble is worthy of publicly ridiculing one of the league's better officials, then where is the memo reporting that the Monday night crew is being downgraded after signaling a touchdown when DeSean Jackson clearly never crossed the goal line? Isn't that pretty much the same crime? Speaking of crimes, it must be hard to keep track of all the local laws when your job requires you to travel as much as professional athletes do. Let's hope none of them run afoul of these strange local legal restrictions in the cities they are squaring off in for Week 3.

Tale of the Tape Week 2 Straight Up:7-8 (Overall: 16-15)
Week 2 vs. the Spread:9-6 (Overall: 16-15)

Sunday, September 21

Kansas City at Atlanta (-4½)

"No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday." Makes sense to me. After all, if you have a cold, sugary confection melting all over your posterior, you'll be a lot harder to tackle and that's just not fair. So far this season, the Chiefs haven't been able to tackle anyone, ice cream or no. Michael Turner should continue his sweet season.

Prediction: Falcons by 7

Oakland at Buffalo (-8½)

"It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun." Trent Edwards knows this, which is why he's been pretty careful to throw the ball directly into his receiver's hands so far this season. The quest for perfection rolls on for the Bills, at least for now.

Prediction: Bills by 12

Tampa Bay at Chicago (-3½)

"It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck." Who wrote this law? Dr. Seuss? Besides, I'd prefer attempting to angle off of zoo animals than this snoozefest of Brian Griese against Kyle Orton. Since there's probably also a law forbidding the selection of pirates while a baby kangaroo is missing, we'll pick against the Joey Galloway-less Bucs.

Prediction: Bears by 2

Houston at Tennessee (-4½)

"Driving is not to be done while asleep" [e] or with Vince Young as your quarterback. That's why with Kerry Collins running the show, the Titans have some semblance of an offense to go along with their dominant defense. Houston will be rusty, and that's not a state in which you want to face Albert Haynesworth & Co.

Prediction: Titans by 17

Carolina at Minnesota (-3½)

"A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head." That likely signals bad news for former University of Oregon stars Dante Rosario and Jonathan Stewart. If they're not allowed to contribute, Gus-Mania will take over, and the Vikings will eke one out. Quack!

Prediction: Vikings by 2

Miami at New England (-12½)

"At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches." In other words, don't be greedy! Once you've scored on your first six possessions and have left the visitors for dead, bring in the second unit and show some mercy.

Prediction: Patriots by 24

Cincinnati at Giants (-13½)

"It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season." Yeah, the only yarn a man is allowed to spin is the made-up size of the mythical fish he's caught. Except in this case, Eli Manning actually did catch "the big one" and he and his teammates have no need to keep any yarn around. The Bengals, big kittens that they are, will not find any entertainment in the Meadowlands.

Prediction: Giants by 17

Arizona at Washington (-3½)

"Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated." Respect for birds is usually a good thing, but if you give these Cardinals a little space, they'll run you out of your own stadium. Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin will fly high and send the Redskins to defeat.

Prediction: Cardinals by 6

New Orleans at Denver (-5½)

"It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor." So don't expect these Broncos to do the "neighborly" thing, like saying "No, really, it was a fumble [e] you can have the ball," or "Go ahead and take the ball in both halves, we don't mind." No, the only thing the Saints will get from Denver is the back end of a broom, sweeping their remains out of Mile High.

Prediction: Broncos by 5

Detroit at San Francisco (-3½)

"It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner." Because five feet of equine poo is fine. After that, we have to draw the line. Seriously, though, this Lions team makes us misty for the days of Wayne Fontes. How many more losses does this team have to endure before the entire front office gets walking papers? At least one more.

Prediction: Niners by 7

St. Louis at Seattle (-9½)

"X-rays may not be used to fit shoes." In other words, everybody's bones are different, and just because the first six guys to fill the wide receiver shoes in Seattle suffered serious injuries, that doesn't mean the latest batch of recruits (Koren Robinson, Keary Colbert) will suffer the same fate. In fact, against the Rams, they may each even score a couple of touchdowns.

Prediction: Seahawks by 14

Cleveland at Baltimore (-1½)

"It's illegal to take a lion to the movies." Even "The Wizard of Oz" or "Born Free"? Come on! His cousin's in the film. Let the lion in! However, there is apparently no law against Ravens being allowed to watch plenty of game film and proceed to take the Browns to the woodshed.

Prediction: Ravens by 8

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (-2½)

"No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator." In a refrigerator? Be my guest. On a refrigerator? You're out of order! Donovan McNabb is playing like he put his 2004 self in a cryogenic chamber until Week 1, when the heat of his passes melted any lingering frost. The Eagles will continue to make those scoreboard operators earn those paychecks.

Prediction: Eagles by 11

Jacksonville at Indianapolis (-5½)

"If any person has a puppet show and receives money for it, they will be fined $3." Seems like a small price to pay for having a skilled puppet master showcasing his talents. After a few shaky outings, Peyton Manning should be back to directing his receivers around the field, and the Jaguars are the ones who won't be fine, at three games under .500.

Prediction: Colts by 5

Dallas at Green Bay (+2½)

"It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep." Explain the logic behind this one! It's the middle of the night and suddenly there's a five-alarm blaze. Do you call the fire department? No! It's illegal! They're all asleep. Ssssssh! Dallas' offense is wide awake and until they wear themselves out from scoring at will, it won't be possible for even a quality defense like Green Bay to stop them.

Prediction: Cowboys by 2

Monday, September 22

Jets at San Diego (-8½)

"The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past [Feb. 2] may be fined up to $250." This law I can get behind. There's a time for Christmas lights, but at some point, the calendar changes and it is time to move on. San Diego might be upset over the way Week 2 ended, but the Chargers are not going to live in the past. They'll move on by moving past the Jets.

Prediction: Chargers by 9

The ESPN Eliminator requires that you make one and only one pick each week. You win and you live to pick again. You lose and it's all over. In Week 2, we survived again with our top choice, the Giants, and earned 11 out of a possible 15 points for the week. That puts our success ratio at 63 percent overall for the season. There's still a lot of room for improvement, but remember: You don't have to get five games right; only one is required to stay in the game. Hopefully our pick of the Titans doesn't stink, because it is illegal to carry skunks into Tennessee. Here are all of our Week 3 selections:

DEFCON 5:Titans
DEFCON 4:Seahawks
DEFCON 3: Bills
DEFCON 2: Patriots
DEFCON 1: Giants

Good luck to all of you, and remember, it costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday in Cambridge, so plan accordingly.

AJ Mass is a fantasy football, baseball and college basketball analyst for ESPN.com. You can e-mail him here.